The process of disengagement has been long and hard for me. The BPD continues to try and keep a pinky toe in my life. Stupidly, I took the bait. Fighting the rescuer has been really difficult. Recently, I failed.
So I get a random text by the BPD, all excited, that she is going to start school. Intrigued, I try to get more information from her. I learn that the school is called AIU. A quick google search reveals that AIU is a scam. One of those "get your degree in 2 years" and pay 50K to do it. Online schooling where you do all the work, and they collect the money by providing limited resources that can be found online for free.
AIUTruth Website
She's excited. She's changing her life. The endorphins are pumping as she pays them 50 bucks to start an application for a government grant/loan. She never bothered to do any research on this school. None. She was ready to sign away 50K being sold by a marketing salesmen on a phony dream.
For the sake of her son, I had to let her know this was a scam. In typical fashion, she pretended she knew. Then that was deflected into if she had known how much it cost she wouldn't have gone. All of this was bullshit. She had to have known the costs and risks in order to submit an application for the loan. She told me was set to start November 9th. That means everything was set and they were just waiting for approval on the loan.
Now you would think that a rational adult would thank me for looking out for them. Thank me for doing the research and letting them know they were getting scammed before it was too late right?
Wrong. We're talking about BPD here.
The conversation turn bad when she raged at me. I understand why. She had to deflect her inner shame of being taken for a fool, so she lashed out and blamed me for it. Claimed I always talk down on her and make her feel stupid. In reality, she felt stupid for believing the people selling her a lie. I just happened to be the easy target. It's so maddening to deal with the projection and blame. You try and do a good thing for a family and you get blamed for it. You're the enemy. You're the bad guy. What's the point?
Nothing works
It doesn't matter how I treat her or act. It doesn't matter what I say. She's just broken. Period. I'm not equipped with the tools to fix her. I'm not an emotional mechanic. I just wanted a loving partner who respected me but instead I got someone inflicted with a terrible mental illness.
That's just life I guess
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