BPD Rules

1. The BPD's thoughts and feelings are MORE important than YOURS.

2. Your thoughts and feelings are a burden to the BPD, if focusing on your feelings takes the focus off THEIR FEELINGS, or if your thoughts/feelings are critical of the way the BPD has been behaving/treating you.

3. In the relationship, the BPD makes the rules, doesn't have to obey the rules, and can change them at ANYTIME.

3a. IF the BPD does change the rules, you should already know what the new rule is and why they decided to change it.

4. You must be perfect at all times (i.e. be god), and if you are not, then you are the devil.

5. Their thought, feelings, and emotions can change on a dime.

6. If criticize your BPD, they will fight tooth and nail to defend their actions.

6a. If they admit that they were wrong, then in their minds they are horrible people (do to their black and white thinking). In order to avoid feeling horrible, they will make excuses and twist reality around to make to justify their behavior.

6b. They rarely, if ever apologize for wrong doing.

6c. If they do apologize, its not because they mean it, but because they want/need something from you and they realize that they need to apologize to smooth things over, so they can get want they want/need out of you.

7. If you do not do what your BPD wants, they will use emotional blackmail, manipulation, name calling, etc. to get what they want.

7a. They will sometimes threaten to end the relationship, if you don't give into them. This is their trump card.

8. If the BPD ends the relationship then they still expect you to be there for them, and do whatever they want from you.

8a. If they have lost all romantic feelings for you, you still have to be there for them, no matter what.

9.If they do something to hurt you, then it is your fault, because you must have do something WRONG to "make them" rage/hurt you back.

10. You are responsible for their feelings. If they don't feel good, then you must do something to make them feel better.

10a. If you can't make them feel better, then you are not a good enough partner and/or you are selfish.

11. When they criticize you, they are projecting their faults/flaws onto you.

11a. When they do project, it's because they want to make it look like your flaws are worse than theirs, so they can feel better by comparison.

12. You and the BPD are not equal partners in the relationship. They are the dictator

12a. You are the parent replacement, and are suppose to be there for them, no matter what (as a parent would do to their child).

13. They have the emotional psyche a child, while having the physical and intellectual capacity of an adult.

Courtesy of GodofNietzche at BPDFamily