Caring: The Trigger Effect

I look back on all the times where I was wronged. Gaslighted. Manipulated. Abused.

It really is inconceivable what I put up with. Like a puppet on a string. I can't blame the BPD though. Because of my own insecurities, weakness, and need to be loved, I allowed the worst possible things to happen to me in my life. I had the power all along to make it stop. I was just unwilling to let it go. I had to try "one more time", thinking if I cared just a little bit more than last time, things would work out like a fairy tale in the movies.

Unfortunately reality does not work that way.

The more we care. The more they push us away. The more we try to convince them we care about them, the more they distance themselves. It's a no-win life situation that will never get better. When they hurt. It's your fault. When they are sad. It's your fault. It seems like they just can't deal with their feelings, so whoever they are close to becomes the trash bin for all their ugly emotions.

No amount of love or caring can fix them. No amount of pleading, convincing, will make them "snap out of it", see the light, love you, and then the two of you go riding off into the sunset happy. They are not "emotionally rational" human beings unfortunately. There is only one real outcome when you are in a relationship with someone that has BPD. Trauma.

If the BPD is committed to treatment there can be success, but I'm not a believer. For them to even see the light is near impossible. For them to even admit they have a problem is an impossibility, especially if they have a splash of narcissism thrown in. They can just jump from partner to partner, get immediate needs met, relationship soon sours, they abandon the relationship as soon as a new one becomes available. A never ending cycle.